


Be Awesome Instead

by ussdawntreader



Category: CW Network RPF, How I Met Your Mother, Supernatural RPF
Genre: How I Met Your Mother AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-04
Updated: 2008-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-12 02:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussdawntreader/pseuds/ussdawntreader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jared and Jensen are like Barney and Ted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Awesome Instead

**Medium:** Real World/TV  
 **Fandom:** CW RPF/How I Met Your Mother  
 **Subject:** Jared  & Jensen Padackles  
 **Title:** Be Awesome Instead  
 **Warnings:** There is a shocking lack of heterosexuality in this mix! It's also rated M for Mature.  
 **Notes:** So I was talking to Pippa and I was like, "Man there should be a fic wherein Jared and Jensen are like Barney and Ted." And then she said, "You should write it." Some of my favourite bits of _How I Met Your Mother_ have been appropriated. It's hard to explain until you read it.

  


♩. **M.I.A. – Boyz**

 

Jensen can still clearly remember his first encounter with Jared. Before then, he didn’t think that people like him really existed. But then he showed up, proving him wrong.

They really met at a cast and crew party held 45 minutes away from anywhere. Jensen was sitting at the bar, nursing his Keith’s when Jared sat beside him.

"Jensen," he announced, adjusting his tie, "I'm going to teach you how to live."

Jensen just looked at him, trying to remember where he’d seen him before.

"I'm Jared? I'm playing your bro."

"Oh right," Jensen said, then swallowed half his beer.

"Lesson 1, lose the goatee. It doesn't go with your suit."

"It's not a goatee, it's a soul patch. And Kripke already told me to shave it. ...And I’m not wearing a -"

Jared interrupted. "Suits are cool. Exhibit A."

Jensen didn’t say anything, hoping he’d go away. No such luck.

"Check him out," Jared said, chucking his chin and a hot blond across the room.

"What about him?" Jensen asked reluctantly. 

"I should go introduce myself. After all, we'll be waking up together tomorrow." He picked up his beer and exited gracefully. Jensen watched out of interest and sure enough, Jared whispered something in the guy’s ear and they left a few minutes later.

♪. **Cobra Starship – I Kissed a Boy**

Two months later, Jensen almost found himself used to Jared’s antics. Like clockwork, an hour after they finished shooting, he’d get a call:

“Meet me at the Point in 15 minutes! AND SUIT UP!”

“Jared, why do we even go there? It’s so far!”

“Because it’s _awesome_.”

“Fine. Are you driving?”

“It’s your turn.”

But Jared would always drive because he never drank enough to fuck himself over. And Jared always insisted on playing “Have You Met Jensen”, even though the Point was not the gay-friendliest place in ~~Vancouver~~ Port Moody.

And after two or three drinks, after Jared had struck out once or twice, he would always beg Jensen to go with him to Celebrities. Which Jensen always refused to do. Luckily, home was on the way there, so Jensen was always dropped off safely, while Jared went on to pillage Celebrities alone.

 

♫. **Scissor Sisters – Kiss You Off**

 

But there was that time when Jared kidnapped him. It was Canadian Thanksgiving, so they had a few days off and Jensen was feeling lonelier than usual. They went to the Point, but instead of taking him home after, Jared breezed by it and on to Celebrities.

“Seriously?” Jensen asked. “You want to do this?”

“Jensen,” Jared said, “I ask if you want to go. But you go home alone, night after night. You’re lonely. And you know what I do when I get lonely? I go to the bar, pick up a hot guy, stop being lonely and be awesome instead. True story!”

“That’s just it! Doing that doesn’t help loneliness. You’re drowning feelings in anonymous sex. There’s nothing meaningful in that.”

“Since when did anonymous sex stop being meaningful?!”

“Uh…always?”

“Listen, just come out tonight and if you really and honestly hate it, you’ll never have to again. I promise.”

“…Fine.”

 

♬. **Tom Novy – I Don’t Want No Body**

 

“One hundred dollars says when you turn around, I say, ‘WOW’.”

Jensen turned to find Jared with _that_ look on his face, half arrogance, half sex. “Seriously, dude, this is the third time you’ve accidentally hit on me tonight.”

Jared threw up his hands in frustration. “It’s you! This is your fault!”

“My fault?” Jensen can’t even believe it. “You’re the one who dragged me here! You can’t blame this on me!”

Jared sniffed. “I totally can. Check it: you are throwing off the Hotness Ratio at this club.” 

Jensen could only blink. Jared continued: “Whenever I come here there is a certain ratio that is continually upheld. I am hotter and therefore greater” - he traced the greater than sign in the air – “than anyone else here. Except you. And by that ratio, I am obligated to hit on you.”

Rather than answering, Jensen just turned around again. But of course, Jared didn’t go away. “Two Chuck Norrises,” he told the bartender.

Jensen couldn’t make out what exactly what was being put in the shot so he handled it with some apprehension. Jared clinked their shot glasses together and downed his easily. Jensen tried to copy him and almost choked.

“What _is_ that?” he gasped.

“That, my friend, is a Chuck Norris. One part Jack Daniels, one part cheap tequila, one part roundhouse kick to the face. Two more!” he ordered.

The second shot didn’t taste any better than the first, but at least he expected it. Jared ordered them beer and asked, “See anyone you like?”

Jensen kept his eyes on the wall of booze in front him. “No.”

Shaking his head, Jared said, “Jensen, you are killing me!”

Jensen shrugged, covering up his smirk by taking a swig of his beer.

“You know what? I bet – nay, I _slap-bet_ \- you that even if you tried, you couldn’t get anyone to leave with you.”

“Why would I take that bet?”

“Because you want to prove that you’re not as boring and depressing as I think you are. Because if you are as boring and depressing as I think you are, then there is really no hope for you.”

It took a while for Jared’s words to sink in through the booze and pounding music. And maybe it was the booze, but he stuck out his hand and said, “You know what? You’re on.”

 

♭. **MGMT – Electric Feel**

 

_If there’s techno, you will dance._

Jensen giggled at his own misquotation of _Field of Dreams_ as he made his way onto the dance floor, beer in hand, and hips swaying, three more Chuck Norrises later.

Almost immediately, he felt someone behind him, their hips pressing against his. Jensen felt around, awkwardly, measuring the guy’s height by how much his knees were bending. It could only be Jared at that height. 

Jensen relaxed back against him, the feeling of being enveloped by Jared almost comforting. He angled his head to the side and somehow his lips found Jared’s. It was sloppy (both too drunk), but strange and hot and exactly what they both needed.

 

♯. **Britney Spears & Kanye West – Womanizer Lockdown**

 

They took a cab to Jensen’s, Jared’s lips pressed against the nape of Jensen’s neck, making him shiver (and making it difficult to locate his keys). Once inside, they scrambled out of button-down shirts and trousers and come together again, skin to skin.

Jensen smirked as he brought his hand down to slap Jared’s ass. 

“I win.”

[Zip, Zip, Zip!](http://www.mediafire.com/file/l4nkiqtjock/be%20awesome%20instead.zip)


End file.
